It’s Zenuari 2018!

I’m not a fan of “new year, new me” thingy, but in this very 2018, I feel like I need to start planning for my future seriously. My life was intentionally a mess. I always have goals, I do, but right now, I know I need to make everything very specific, and make deadlines for every goals I have without rushing it. Rushing things will be something I pull aside, because I plan to be a zen monk this year. Lol jk but yes, I plan to do things zen way like I did few years ago. (Including a little more drawing as a therapy to find peace.) It won’t hurt to start doing it again, right. I wrote these highlights about zen way of life in 2014 or so and I’m just gonna share it here, just because. So yeah, have a great 2018, fellas!

Zen things
Zen. (the words are from tumblr I guess, didn’t write the credit sorry)
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Change

Start somewhere.

Reading through my old diary journal makes me realize how much I’ve grown. The way I see things now is somehow different. Guess I’m pretty much older now.

Some people told me I didn’t change after years. They said I still looked the same (some said I got prettier though, lol), and my personality didn’t change much. Well, most of the people I know don’t change much either. Or maybe, I deny to see them differently, just because I don’t want them to change. Oh but who am I to judge.

One thing I learned about myself lately is, I repressed a lot. Rather than being a present-hedonistic who tries to seek pleasure in everything I do, which is me some times ago, I get more and more transcendental-futuristic. Not because I want to, but because I realized that I have to. For me, being (so-called) “spiritual” changes a lot of aspects in my life. And change is never easy, right, especially when the change is vast and fast. I know I just gotta start somewhere, rather than complaining how hard it is. I’m still trying to accept this urge to change, and of course it will be a bumpy road, but change is good.

Change for the better is good.